Yesterday I decided to try out my local YMCA. We just moved a few months ago and, truth be told, what I really want to do is get back into a pool and swim. The good news is that this Y has a pool: the bad news is that it is mostly broken, sigh.
So, instead of waiting for the ice to melt in the bay I decided to try the gym, specifically the treadmill. First I had to pack my gym bag, shoes, check, gym shorts, check, clean shirt, check, lock and key, check and check.
Then I had to find a clean locker, undress, redress into my gym stuff, lock up my gear…you get where I’m going yet? This just felt like an effort. Why had I decided this was a good idea when I had been all cozy in my little house all warm and safe from the snow….geez.
Ok, pick an open treadmill, set it to twenty minutes ( my warm up) and GO! Phew this isn’t quite so bad after all…how’s my time? What only five minutes, I’m dying here. Ok, slow it down a little, yeah there, that’s better. Good, now we’re in business. And so it went: that dam internal chatter that can take over, that monkey mind, and not know when to just shut the f*** up.
I was feeling pretty smug about myself to be honest, yeah look at me I made the choice to work out. I didn’t just sit on the sidelines like SOME people…I am SO walking the talk. And then I saw him. He got onto the treadmill beside me. Young, probably in his late teens, and ready to work hard. “great now he’s gonna make me look like a turtle..an old fogie with all has speed.”
And you know what? He did, but not for the reasons I thought.As I watched him move one foot in front of the other it became painfully obvious that this was, well, painful for him. He could hardly get his feet to move at all and the muscles in his legs were completely eroded. He had struggled with this forever you could just tell, but did he let that stop him? Nope, there he was, moving with such difficulty but moving! One step in front of the next…
I finished my workout, happy to say I did two miles, and left to stretch my sore muscles. You know what? Suddenly all that effort took on a whole new perspective..I was grateful for the ability to work out, I was grateful for the chance to let my muscles do what they do best without strain..I was grateful to have met that courageous young man who taught me, on that day,what fearless looked like.
I will be back but it will not be because I HAVE to it will be because I WANT to…