Truth telling here in all my years of living in Canada, (the land of igloos and such) I had never acquired a fondness for winter. In fact I am kind of a water baby which can be severely limited for several months in my part of the world. Nope, no frosty red cheeks and furry hats for this kid: until now.
Responsible dog owner that I am I find myself outside everyday for at least two hours. I am the postie mantra “through rain or snow or sleet or hail” only for me the ending is ” geez do they have to go out again?” So I don my furry hat, pull on my ugly Blundstones that allow me to wear three pair of wool socks, my wool mitts, my down coat (by now I am seriously suffering from a mid-life hot flash and want to tear all of this off), put both dogs on their leads and head out into that cold.
I share this with you in light of the recent passing of Whitney Houston, Amy Winehouse and the great MJ. Icons created out of their creativity by those who adored them, and the numbers were in the millions. I wonder how well they lived, how well had they learned the true art of living. How much of them did we see truly and how much of what we saw was wrapped in a blanket of protection induced by drugs and/or alcohol?
The practice of being only in this moment, the present moment, offers such wisdom and clarity. There is no past there is no future there is only now. I watch my dogs playing, always in the present moment, and give thanks for the snow falling on my face. Taking time to offer compassion for those who suffer I know present moment is truly a gift in the art of living. Artists in their own right, creating art for others, is the cost a compromise in the art of living?

So I decided to do what everybody seems to do for parties such as these. I prepared food to take over to the hostess. Somebody was bringing chili so that was out. I got a call from somebody else who told me they were bringing sandwiches so that was out. Well beer is always an option right? Ok so maybe not just beer. Taking a quick scan of the ingredients available in my kitchen I decided to make dumplings: the kind you get at dim sum.

Rice paper: check. Smoked salmon: check. Sticky rice: check. Cilantro: check. Garlic: check. Sesame oil: check. Eggs: check. I pulled together all the ingredients and crafted the most amazing yummy dumplings I have ever made. Seriously they were good. I use the word were because the dumplings are (pre Super Bowl party) a thing of the past.

Hubby came in hungry after his shift at the firehall.

Hungry and tired actually and those dumplings were just sitting there all warm and yummy on the counter as I was making them.  He had worked pretty hard and he was pretty hungry. My first inclination was to tell him to eat something else: that this food was for the party but geez there he was and the food did look really good.

We will celebrate our 33 anniversary this summer and that is part of the reason why we have been together for so long. Sometimes you just have to let go of the rules and make new ones. Sometimes the best choice of action is to go with the flow and with that thought I grabbed two very pretty plates and two sets of chopsticks and had a lovely meal with my husband.

Sorry Super Bowl friends…now back to the kitchen. Quinoa: check. Cranberries: check. Avocado: check…sleeping hubby: check check and check.

So, instead of waiting for the ice to melt in the bay I decided to try the gym, specifically the treadmill. First I had to pack my gym bag, shoes, check, gym shorts, check, clean shirt, check, lock and key, check and check.

Then I had to find a clean locker, undress, redress into my gym stuff, lock up my gear…you get where I’m going yet? This just felt like an effort. Why had I decided this was a good idea when I had been all cozy in my little house all warm and safe from the snow….geez.

Ok, pick an open treadmill, set it to twenty minutes ( my warm up) and GO! Phew this isn’t quite so bad after all…how’s my time? What only five minutes, I’m dying here. Ok, slow it down a little, yeah there, that’s better. Good, now we’re in business. And so it went: that dam internal chatter that can take over, that monkey mind, and not know when to just shut the f*** up.

I was feeling pretty smug about myself to be honest, yeah look at me I made the choice to work out. I didn’t just sit on the sidelines like SOME people…I am SO walking the talk. And then I saw him. He got onto the treadmill beside me. Young, probably in his late teens, and ready to work hard. “great now he’s gonna make me look like a turtle..an old fogie with all has speed.”

And you know what? He did, but not for the reasons I thought.As I watched him move one foot in front of the other it became painfully obvious that this was, well, painful for him. He could hardly get his feet to move at all and the muscles in his legs were completely eroded. He had struggled with this forever you could just tell, but did he let that stop him? Nope, there he was, moving with such difficulty but moving! One step in front of the next…

I finished my workout, happy to say I did two miles, and left to stretch my sore muscles. You know what? Suddenly all that effort took on a whole new perspective..I was grateful for the ability to work out, I was grateful for the chance to let my muscles do what they do best without strain..I was grateful to have met that courageous young man who taught me, on that day,what fearless looked like.

I will be back but it will not be because I HAVE  to it will be because I WANT to…

Here’s why.

In the 55 years, almost 56 now that I have been wandering around in this body women are still ladies in waiting.
I’m not talking about the medieval romantic image of a lady all dressed in her finery waiting to be saved by her great crusader: nope not that kinda lady in waiting. I’ m talking about the kind of waiting that includes pay equity, pension equality, financial equity, educational equity…yeah that…
For 56 years I have been listening to women, and men, say that we should be making an equal wage.

 I,and you too, have been reading about the disparity between men and women in their career options.

I, and you too perhaps, know women who work harder than most, who get up before sunrise and work all day for no financial gain at all…we call them mothers. In this day and age, in North America, the job of mother is still undervalued and not compensated for financially. In fact, women who make that sacrifice, and it is most definitely a sacrifice, will be penalized for taking time away from their careers by making less money, moving slower up the ladder and accumulating less pension benefits upon retirement. Geez…55 years later and I am still hearing the same sh** well fed up with it I am so I’ve decided to stop waiting for anybody else to make changes…
As a life coach I know for certain that life is all about choice. Some of it is stuff we take on from our family, our culture and our peers. Some of it is just passed down, from generation to generation, for no apparent reason but tradition. I grew up in a household where sexual abuse was part of the dynamic. I had choices when I had my kids and I chose to step away from that generational tradition.

Some things are easier to walk away from than others…not impossible but not easy. So here’s what I have come up with to get you thinking about change.
1. Money is not scarce or limited
2. You can make money and be rich and be a nice person, all at the same time.
3. You can do what you love and make a living doing it.
4. Join a network of like minded people to support your goals
5. Hire a life coach to help you stay focused and accountable
6.If money is tight, keep your job, sell stuff, and have a year of savings before you jump into your small business
7.According to John Carroll, personal factories, aka self- employed folks, are going to save the global economy
8. If not me then who, if not now then when?
9. Taking a page from my sources of inspiration, Oprah, Arlene Dickinson,J.K. Rowling…do what you love,never stray, be honest, speak your truth, be kind and stay focused and you will become successful
10. Success has many definitions, pick yours and do not apologize because you achieved your goal.
11. We women in the world, make up 53% of the world’s population yet we hold only 1% of the wealth. Well I am not going to let another 55 years slide by and not change that.
12. Helping millions make millions is a global initiative I have created to empower women around the world to step up and create change in their own lives. Give a woman a job feed her for a day, let a woman run her own small business feed her, and her entire community, for life…
Come join us…be part of the change that 2012 is bringing. No more waiting…

Today when we got there we met a friend with a husky so there was a three pack. After a few minutes two more showed up so we had a five pack of huskies. Have you ever watched huskies when they pack up? Mine know for absolute certain when another dog is a husky. They will play with all sorts of dogs but once another husky comes into the area they will pack up together and play. They run and they jump and they chase each other around in a different way when the pack is together.

I find that really interesting and fascinating. Here’s what I make of it: my girls know who their “people” are: they know who their tribe is and they feel most comfortable with them. They don’t mind being around others but the absolutely fall into their own essence of who they are when they are with their own kind….

Do you ever notice that with people? Some folks you just feel more comfortable around. You may not know why but you just feel more like yourself around them..the interests are the same or the energy feels right. Whatever it is I encourage you to find your tribe because that’s where you will shine the brightest: that’s where you will be the best person you are meant to be: that’s where you will step into your own essence of joy and power: that’s when you learn the heart of being fearless..in a group of people who think most like you. If you want to shine in 2012 take the step and find your tribe. Not sure how to do that?

Here’s a tip: sit with yourself for an hour or so and write down everything you love about the people you feel most comfortable with….athletic/ funny/ musical/ artsy/fashionista/writer..whatever it is write it all down. Tip #2 find a group in your local area that has a program where your tribe will be. There’s always somewhere to find your tribe and if you haven’t found them yet/ if you haven’t connected up yet it’s just because you’re not sure where they are. These two tips are a great way to get you started. Now go be fearless.

Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: “What do you mean you don’t want cranberries with the turkey? Wait you don’t want turkey either?”

Child: “Mom you know I’m vegetarian I don’t eat turkey and the cranberries are not organic and they’re full of sugar. I’m not putting that into my body.”

Me: “But we’ve always had cranberries. My mom served it to us: all of our relatives serve cranberries with turkey.”

Child: “I know mom but I don’t want any..no offence but it’s not my tradition it’s your’s.”

Me: “But what’s mine is your’s….it’s always been that way…” voice trailing off as I begin to question the whole concept of doing something “just because.”

Child: “Mom I’m not having any. You can serve it if you want but I’m not having any..”

Me: ” Ok…ok I get it you don’t want it…” 

End of conversation but most certainly not the end of the thought process for me. What did it mean to have traditions and why do we follow them? Is it simply something we do because that’s the way it’s always been done?

That thought led to think about money and traditions and here’s what I’ve come up with .

In my family the tradition was that money was hard to come by: money was finite: money was something to be taken very seriously: money meant control and a lack of money meant no control: money was to be saved for a rainy day…money was a struggle that would never get easier.

You know what? I’m with my kids on this one: I’m throwing out the cranberry sauce and the money traditions this year! I’m done with struggle and fear and scraping by and making do….What about you? Do you have any money traditions that you’re holding onto just because that’s the way it’s always been?

Speaking of tradtions enjoy this piece from Time…

Now go be fearless.

I teach women how to turn uncover their passion and turn it into profit.

My movement is Helping Millions Make Millions…

Yeah Jan blah blah blah…so what?

Well here’s the thing. I’ve been there: I’ve worn your shoes: I’ve felt your pain…maybe not everybody’s but a lot of it believe me on that one!

I grew up pretty happy as far as I remember until I began to be abused sexually. That assault on a young child’s body has a way of eroding joy and trust and hope for the future. It just eats away at the soul if you let it and for a lot of years I let it because I didn’t know any better.

Thank God for counsellors and therapists and finally my life coach but mostly I am thankful I knew that I didn’t want to be living in fear anymore.

I made a choice to remove myself from many toxic relationships: shit that was hard to do because a lot of them had been lifelong relationships.

Talk about living in lonelyville.

I’ve been out of work and out of money.

I’ve been diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and completely changed my life around that diagnosis. 7 years later I was informed that the diagnosis had been a medical error and that I could live a life Parkinson free.

What? What the f*** people don’t “unget” Parkinson’s disease. The specialist had made a huge error in the original diagnosis and would not own up to it. I never did get an apology from her and I’m not holding my breath either.

One of my best friends was murdered three years ago almost to this day.

Her husband was a police officer so she always seemed safe around the house. That’s where she was murdered: in her kitchen making breakfast for that same dam cop who was supposed to be keeping her safe.

He came up behind her and shot her four times in the head with his hunting rifle…I miss her. He had no right to do what he did but he believed he had no other options. I don’t know why he did it and I don’t ask: it doesn’t matter to me. She’s gone: bottom line.

I’ve had a lot of mess in my life and I’ve learned from each and every single lesson they brought to me.

That’s why you probably should work with me..

I know how hard it is to believe there is a way out and I know how easy it is to make that shift once you see things differently.

Not sure if this will work for you? Try a sample session. Now go be fearless!

My goal in life is to teach a million women how to turn their passion into profit and turn that into a million dollar business. Here’s why.   Women support their communities. Women are the village keepers: women make sure that their local worlds are nurtured and nourished. Even as I write this I get so invigorated with the energy women bring to their communities. I get energized knowing that I can play a small part in this movement “helping millions make millions.”

We’re off and running: catch us if you can. Oh and if you missed it on Thursday night I gave each of the women in attendance their first million to keep them on track.