You Matter Steve

He was tall and thin. I had not seen him before today. I was out walking my dogs and was just heading into my warm, cozy little home. I heard a sound, devastating cries, wailing actually, from somewhere close by. There were no other people around but me and him. “Could it be him that’s crying?” I wondered. It felt odd to hear such a tall young man child weeping as he walked toward me. We were about 100 feet away from each other and I knew I had a choice. I could leave him alone or I could go talk to him.
I grabbed the dog leashes and headed toward him, the sobbing so loud now it made my dogs howl just a wee bit. I felt like howling too but I didn’t. “What’s wrong? Are you ok?” I asked but he didn’t really know I was there. I stepped right up to him, put my hand on his arm, and asked again “are you ok?” He looked surprised to see me amd even more surprised that someone was talking to him.
“Are you ok? What’s wrong? Why are you crying? Are you hurt?” I looked straight into his eyes, looking intently, noticing him, letting him know I was noticing him. He did not look away and through his tears he said ” my fiance..he just..I am sick and I am just being used. I don’t matter.” My heart broke. He was falling apart and I was concerned for his well being. ” You DO matter. You’re here so you matter.” (yes I was pulling out all my Oprah lessons at this point, thank you Oprah ) He stopped crying for a second and I took his hands in mine. He was shivering and freezing. “You’re cold. Can I just keep my hands here for a sec, you’re so cold.” We stood like that, hand in hand, me just watching his face, he beginning to weep again. “How could this happen? I thought we were in love. ”
“What’s your name” I asked. ” Steve” he said. “Steve, look at my dogs, see how cute they are. They love it when somebody pats them. Want to? ” I was trying to calm him just a little bit. It works with others and I hoped it would work this time. Steve bent down and said hi, the dogs sat quietly beside me and allowed him to pat them.
He looked up, crying again but not so violently. “I have given him so much. I have tried showing him how special he is but he doesn’t believe me” Steve said.
“Here’s what I know for sure Steve. If he can’t accept your gift of love you cannot force him to accept it. It’s better that you learn this now even though it doesn’t feel like it right now.”
We were walking again, past my home, with my dogs in one hand and his hand in my free one. “Where are you going? Do you have a place to go? ” I asked. I was really concerned for him, mama that I am. I wanted to be sure he had a place to go to. “I just live down the street” he said and then he stopped. ” You’re really kind” he says, “thank you.”
He had calmed down a little by now. He wasn’t freezing anymore. He’s still going to have to work through the broken heart, that’ll take time and I told him that. ” I have children, they’re older than you but they’re mine. I would hope that somebody would take the time to be kind to them if they needed it” I said and then we said goodbye.
“Can I give you a hug Steve?” There we were, two strangers in the middle of the street, hugging as we parted. I told him again that he mattered and that I loved him.
I realized after we parted that Steve had a same sex relationship. He didn’t want to say anything because he was scared of what I might say. I also realized that’s why I stopped in the first place, I was concerned that he was being bullied, perhaps he was.
My intuition was telling me to reach out so I did. You know what I knew before I met Steve but took away with me? Love is love is love. It doesn’t know skin colour, sexual orientation or place of birth. A broken heart is a broken heart, tears are tears, grief is grief, it isn’t all limited to heterosexual relationships. Thanks for the lesson Steve.